Last Blog

This is it! So long and good night! It has been fun.

I wish anyone who reads this peace, love, joy happiness, laughter, and truth.

Peace out!

Friends

I love my friends. Over the years I have collected some very special people who know me well and really get me, an I them.  This is so special. True and deep connections with others is so great when you can have that. Wherever I am in my journey of life my friends are there to just be there with me. They allow me to see myself in my greatness when I am at my lowest and call me on my shit when I am out of line. They are my soul sister's and brother's and I am so grateful to share my life with them.

Christmas is almost here!

We are already trying to get holiday cards out, planning the Christmas meal, and thinking about Christmas gifts. Where did the year go? It seems like last week that it was summer. I am having Christmas eve at my house this year. I am going to cook something yummy. The tree is already up and decorations are hung. I am not looking forward to holiday shopping. The crowds never used to bother me but now that my time is so precious, I can barely stand waiting in lines to indulge in the mainstream consumerism. But, I will. One day I will live in the middle of no where and just live without hustling in this rat race. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Everything!

My boy is growing up

I cannot believe that my little boy is turning 5! Time goes by so fast now that I have a child. No really, it's all a blur. He is super smart and he keeps me on my toes for sure. We will have a party for him at our house with a few of his friends. It usually rains on his birthday and with this years weather I am pretty sure it will rain again. My son wants a Peter Pan party this year, what a surprise. This kid is Peter Pan crazy. I think it's kinda cool that he is into book characters. He has actually never seen the cartoon or film. He has only read the book and seen the recorded play.  He is really getting good at sword fighting too.

To Christmas tree or not to Christmas tree that was the question

Well we got the tree. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted to get a living tree or not. But I justified my actions of pulling a dead tree into my house by the fact that thousands and thousands of pine trees are planted each year to appease this holiday tradition, which is so nostalgic to many of us, and that this is sort of green. All of the oxygen that is being produced from these temporary trees is good right? I don't know. The tree looks nice though.

Ghostbusters!

Bill Murray, Dan Akroid and Segourney Weaver? Come on! This movie was hilarious and awesome. Dan Akroid was one of the writer's of this film along with Harold Ramis and Rick Moranis (R.M. not credited) Of course it was spoofy ass ghost movie but please, it had a ginormous marshmallow man that terrorized New York! I love it! If you were born anytime between the 50"s and early 80's you know you liked it too.

4 AM Call Time

My Hubby has been getting his butt up at 3 AM to get to work at 4 AM. This is crazy to me. Then he gets home at about 5:30 PM. He works so hard and really long hours. The good thing is, is that we get to see him at dinner time. Usually, he start between 6 or 8 in the morning and wont get home until we are in bed already. It's kind of strange to live with someone that you never see. Anyway, the film biz is crazy with its hours but it pay well.

Twin Placentas

I am dehydrating twin placentas! I think this is so cool! These babies were born at 32 weeks and they will spend time in the NICU. The capsule that will come from these amazing organs will give the mom hormone balancing, which will balance her mood and increase milk production.  These placentas were much smaller than what I am used to so to me they were cute. Haha! I know that must sound weird but when you look at the regular sized ones all the time I guess the mini's are just, well... cute!

Mouser

My cat, Flower, is the best mouser. When we moved into out place it was infested with rats and field mice. I didn't want to leave poison or those nasty glue traps, so instead we adopted some cats. The first cat we rescued is an all black male named, Ducky-Chocolate. He is pretty much good for cuddling and playing. From time to time he will hunt an easy prey. But he never goes out of his way. Flower on the other-hand is a cold-hearted killer. She kills anythings that moves if it is smaller than her. Since we brought Flower home all the mice and rats went away. My neighbors even said that she chases there rodents away too. So I guess Flower is actually the neighborhood hero. Go Flower!

no grains

Every time I eat grains I feel like crap. I am serious. Though I continue to eat them. I do have periods where I go without and I feel great during those times. I have tried many different diets. I was vegan for two years, that didn't feel good for my body. Then I was pescitarian, I liked that, butt something was missing. Then I went back to all meat but no dairy. Inn recent years I have found, through juice detoxing and food reintroduction, that the major killers for me are garlic, sugar, grains, and animal milk products. So basically, I am a meat and vegetable girl. I am pretty paleo I guess.

Conspiracy?

This video shows that if you fold a U.S. $20 bill in to an airplane that the falling twin towers are depicted on it. There is a new video about the $100 bill as well as others.  I know you can make anything look like something if you believe it enough but this actually does look very similar. I don't know if I can get on board with the whole devil, end times scare but I do believe that the government is corrupt. I also know that 9/11 was planned because the buildings fell in a way that buildings fall only in a planned demolition with explosives. I also know that the heat from the flames would not ever get hot enough to make a building collapse like that. I call bullshit for sure. I do believe that people really did die so I am not trying to disrespect anyone who lost someone in 9/11. I'm just saying that the shit show was staged and a strategic move on the governments part. 

The Croods

I put on The Croods today for my kid while I was writing and I noticed something strange. This movie is about cave people but the women in the movie had no armpit hair. I personally rock the armpit hair and I am damn proud of it. I am also glad that my son will have the imprint that women are supposed to have hair on their bodies. I mean what the hell? These are friggen cave people! Dreamworks couldn't even sex it down a little for the cave girl? So friggen lame!

T.V.

I make it a rule to not let my kid watch T.V. but today I had to let him have hours of it to finish my essay. Luckily he is really into Peter Pan, so I just bought the Broadway play recording and he actually watched it about three times. I figured that is at least real people acting without editing or crazy cartoon characters doing things that my son will physically be able to do. Have you ever seen kids try to reenact the movements that cartoons do? For instance when a cartoon character is going to run real fast and their legs start spinning in place like wheels, then they take off zooming? It's kind of fun to watch but it's scary to think that they are wasting their brain space on crap that is absolutely of no use to the a and completely contradictory to reality.

Ishmael

I wan to thank my professor for instructing me to read Ishmael. It has been recommended to me over the years but I just never picked it up. Now I feel like I wasted a bunch of time. I could of had this great read in my psyche for years now. I am seriously grateful though. I loved this book so much. I talk about it all the time and share about it with my friends. I am totally a fan and now recommend this book. I love that Ishmael is a gorilla who speaks telepathically to his students. Sometimes while I was reading the book, I forgot that it was written by a human. Quinn breaks down our culture so well and really opens the readers eyes to what we look like from an outside perspective. If anyone is into soul searching and self-analyzation, they know that having a grasp on your patterns and behaviors is major in making real changes in who you are. Quinn paints a great picture of who we were and what we have become as a species so well that it is almost depressing to take it all in. There is something inspiring though about knowing that if enough people got on this same trip that we might be able to save this sinking ship, which is going down fast.

Compare and Contrast essay

I seriously did not think I would be able to finish my essay that was due. I had a busy weekend and prior work week. Plus, I had a three day cluster headache which put me in urgent care and completely set me back. I am so relieved that I finished it. I want to thank my class buddy, Denise, for helping me out by staying connected through phone and email. You rock! I am excited to start on my final essay tomorrow. I hope to get this one done before the deadline but who the hell knows what life may bring this week. I can only hope for the best.

Cluster headache part 2

Wednesday morning, I open my eyes and my headache was still there. It is so fricking annoying to wake up with the same headache for days. I was supposed drop off the tests I did the day before at the midwife's office, then meet the new nanny at the par to get my son acquainted. Somehow I managed to get out of the house but my eye was pounding with pain and closing by the minute. I made it to the midwife's office and dropped off the test. The second I got in the car I called our soon to be nanny and asked if she could meet us at urgent care instead of the park  I booked it downtown to the urgent care that has seen me before and the nanny agreed to meet us there. I was so grateful that my son was in a fairly good mood and was putting up with my unavailability. I set up an audiobook and he made the best of it. The nanny showed up and played with my son while I rocked back and forth with my head in my hands, moaning in agony.  I waited 45 minutes for them to assess me then another 15 minutes to be seen. Once I was in the room the nurse and doctor were asking me questions to assess my needs. I hate this part. I know what the hell I need and I want the friggen drug STAT! I know it is just standard of practice and that they have to do that. Anyway, I finally got my injection of immunitex and anti-nausea medication that I later found out was originally created as an anti-psychotic. Oh well, after about 20 minutes I started to feel minimal pain.  I thanked my new childcare and took my soon to the park after that. It was a pretty rough couple of days but somehow I made it.

Cluster Headache part one

Tuesday night during the last 3rd day visit I had to do, the headache I had all day turned into a cluster headache. My right eye started swelling and throbbing with pain. I started doing my deep breathing exercises and I took three tylenol and three ibuprofen.  I still had to make dinner and put my kid to bed. I fixed up something fast to eat and started getting my kid ready for bed.  I noticed my son had green mucus in his eye. "Oh crap!" I thought. My son had friggen pin eye and I had to treat it before I went to bed. I put some drops of breastmilk in his eyes and put him to bed. Once he fell a sleep I went to my bed and tried to relax to keep the headache from hell at bay. With breathing exercises I finally fell asleep waking up from time to time throughout the night, hoping I would make it through the night.

PKU

Once I attend a birth for the midwife I usually have to do the 3rd day postpartum visit at the client's home. This involves checking mom and babies vitals but also performing a PKU test on the baby. The PKU test is part of the California Newborn Screening program. A state mandated test which check for over 70 different metabolic diseases, which are all very rare but treatable if caught in time.
I really don't like doing the test that much because I have to poke the little babies foot. Sometimes I need to poke the babies foot 6 or seven times. The best scenario is when I only have to poke once.  It all depends on how fast the baby coagulates or not. There are six circles, about the size of a penny, that need to be completely saturated blood, front and back.  Some babies sleep through the whole thing, while others scream bloody murder. Sometimes the parents cry too. It is important that I remain calm and confident no matter how dramatic things get. Actually, I fell that I have gotten genuinely confident and that I cam able to handle any situation that may arise when performing that test.  I also know that at home we are doing things as humanely as possible because the mom is holding the baby the whole time and can breastfeed them if the baby wants to nurse. In the hospital the babies are separated from the moms and laid flat on their backs until the test is done.  I like the way we do the test and I am glad we offer an alternatives.

Back to back births

On Sat 11-30-13 I was called to two births back to back. I accrued very little sleep that day but I was in awe of both of the mamas. The first woman's water broke but had no labor contractions for a long time. But boy once they started things really moved, the baby was born just three hours later. This is very fast for a first time mama. The next mama had a more average length labor, around 18 hours. She was so calm though. Even when here baby's head was emerging none of us knew, except for the when the mama said ever so casually, "The baby's coming out now" in the same tone one would ask for someone to pass the butter at a dinner table. Both of the babies were little girls and very cute. I love being able to witness such an amazing, intimate time in peoples lives.

L.A. Hideaway

I love the fact that we have a place like Griffith Park in the Los Angeles area. Every time I take a hike in that area I get a little reprieve from the hectic life of the city. This particular day really felt like fall. It was a cloudy day with leaves out all over the ground and the creek. My son and I walk around  trying to find fairies.

Sometimes I meet colleagues up there for gatherings and meetings, as well as friends for hikes and catch-up time with the girls. There is a little coffee/tea shop up there called the Trails Café. They make great scones, quiches, and muffins that are so delicious. I am so grateful for this wonderful nature spot that we have so close to us in this big city.

Mmmm Thanksgiving

My stuffed, prosciutto wrapped pork loin was a success on thanksgiving. After three years I really have gotten this recipe down. After we enjoyed all the fixings, we finished off the meal with homemade apple pie. My son helped me roll out the dough.  It's fun to make memories like that together. My mom ate with us and then when we were done we drove over to my aunts for dessert. There we were joined with my cousins and my 92-year-old grandma. I love any excuse to spend time with my family especially when there's good food involved. 

I'm not sure what I'm going to cook for Christmas eve yet but I'm sure it'll be something great. I truly enjoy cooking for people I love, it must be the Italian in me. 

Christmas Parade

Ah, the annual Hollywood Christmas parade. It was nice to get out of the house for a second with the family and check out all the floats and participating marchers. It was so fun to watch my kid jump around, dance and get excited about all the different characters coming down the street. Also, it was great to see the Hollywood community gather for a local event. It was a good way to bring in the holiday cheer and to get ready for all of the Christmas hustle and bustle.

Disneyland

Somehow, despite all my disgust for the largest, most evil multimedia company in the world, I still managed to contribute a large donation to them in exchange for a season pass to their amusement park. That's right, I bought a season pass for my son and I to Disneyland. This is another area of my life that stimulates nostalgic feelings that heavily persuade me to make decisions that are not connected to my values... damn it. Oh well I can't be perfect. Anyway, my son and I took off for a Disneyland get away for just the afternoon. We arrived around 2 pm and left at 8 pm. It was sprinkling on and off so it wasn't very busy. My son and I were able to enjoy rides with lines from only 5 -15 minutes long. It was a good day to go. Many of my family live in Anaheim and also have passes so every time we head out there it is common that cousins or aunts/uncles will meet us there. My cousins were able to join us this time and the younger ones really kept my son entertained.

Almost Thanksgiving

I ordered clean, humane pork to turn into a lovely roast for Thanksgiving. I am always super excited to cook for people. I use this recipe that I got from the magazine "Bon Appetit" a couple of years back and I have never been able to go back to turkey since the fist bite. This year will be a small gathering, just my mom, hubby son and I. That just means more leftovers. Woohoo! I love thanksgiving leftovers. I love the holidays. I totally get swept away by the decorations and holiday music... I know, I am such a sucker. I can't help it though. There is something so nostalgic about the winter holidays that gets me all giddy.  Here is to a yummy Thanksgiving holiday for all. Bon Appetit!

Bowling night

I went to a bowling birthday party tonight. It was so much fun and I ended up running into about 15 people that I know very well but haven't seen for a couple years. I had so much catching up to do that I didn't even end up getting a chance to bowl. I don't regret it though, it was a great time and I'm glad I went. Life and people are so much more interesting if you have a little space and take time away. When you're in each other's faces all the time on a continual basis, everything just gets repetitive and boring. I used to see most of these people weekly and, like I said, some of whom I haven't seen for moths or years.  It's always good to reunite with people who know you very well. It's those relationships that can pick up right where they left off that are so great in my life.  There's a nostalgic, familiar comfort that they bring. 

Minnesota Man Rescues Deer From Frozen Lake

Image via: WDIO

Whenever I read stories like this I get so touched and a little bit of my faith is restored in man. However, after recently finishing the book Ishmael, I now question this behavior of saving this deer's life.  Is this the opposite swing of the pendulum of playing God. As humans, we spend a lot of time destroying our mother earth and everything apart of it, taking away life from anything we choose. It's easy to wonder who the hell we think we are in this respect, but what about deciding to give life and intervene with the death of another life. Because the animal appreciates the gesture, it only seems like common sense to call this "the right thing to do,"but is it? Why, as humans, do we feel entitled to the role of taking responsibility and control over the fate of everything that exists around us?  Just thinking out loud.

Parenting 101 must read

        

            

The Continuum Concept was the first book I read in relation to child rearing while I was pregnant and I still consider it one of the best I've come across. This book is written by Jane Liedloff, an American writer, who lived for two and a half years with theYequana tribe, deep in the Amazon Forrest. The Continuum Concept opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking about babies and children. The Yequana women give birth and keep their babies with them, in arms, until the baby can crawl. Once the baby can crawl the baby spends much time crawling near by while the mother does tasks and goes about her normal day. When the baby can walk, he or she will be playing with all the other children in the tribe essentially being raised by them until the baby needs comfort or nourishment from the mother. The mother does not coddle the baby at all, but at the same time she is there whenever the child cries for her or wants her comfort, or maybe some breastmilk. From birth the child has a place in the tribe and is expected to learn, adapt, and survive, just as all other mammals do. Little toddlers boys are running around with bow and arrows practicing to be just like the adult males in their tribe without injuring each other. Little girls are mimicking the work that the women do. There are no cribs, playpens, forced naps, or plastic toys from China used, ever! The children literally never go through the terrible two stage. They do not have tantrums like we see in our industrialized culture. The adults grow up to be drama free and are happy to work and participate for the well being of their tribe. The biggest difference in our cultures in how we respond to our young is that the Yequana do not push independence on their young. They hold their babies all the time for the first six months or so. They sleep with their babies regularly. There are always children of different ages around who can keep up with the energy and imagination of whatever stage a child may be going through. Once a child grows interested in adult responsibilities or activities, the child is welcomed to advance into that area of subject. There are no kid specific toys or games, no age requirements or limits. The child is a fully respected member of the tribe as soon as they are born and treated as such. Here in America, we bombard our children with special gadgets, gismos and toys to entertain them. We push them away from "adult" activities and children are separated from adult life in general. There is child centered activities and non child activities. Most of the time the child is waiting to be allowed to experience the next "child-centered" activity and are usually forced to be with children their own age, like during school. This causes major frustration for them and studies show that the independence we are pushing, before a child is ready, is actually causing a more insecure adults later in life. The Yequana people are living the same way our ancestors lived thousands of years ago. They still possess something our culture certainly has lost. We can learn a lot from the Yequana people.

Hunger Games?

 I entered  to win a compound bow last year while I was at a gun show, yes a gun show, and sure enough I won it with just one $20 raffle ticket. I had been wanting to get a bow for a few years but I did not have the time or money to invest with just having a new baby. I love my bow and now I am applying for the bow hunters education license, which I hope to obtain by February 2014. I am having a hard time finding any folks in L.A. who bow-hunt let alone hunt at all. We are in L.A. so I am not surprised.  For now I am just target shooting. The license allows one to learn how to make the  most humane kill by learning the anatomy of different animals, when hunting seasons end and begin, tracking your kill, recovering your kill, safety, and outdoor preparedness.  Sorry for any vegetarians, vegans or animal lovers who find hunting offensive.

Single mom... almost

For the last two weeks my husband ha been working out of town. I had to scramble for on call childcare because my job requires me to sometimes leave in the middle of the night to attend a birth. The universe somehow always seems to provide. I found a doula who is now my on call childcare person. I am glad I can rest knowing that I have childcare that will answer their phone at 3 am to come and sleep at my house to care for my child. The doing everything by myself all day and night has been interesting.  I definitely have even more respect for the men and women who are single parents full time.  It is not easy!  My hubby came back for today, Saturday, and will leave again tomorrow.  I am looking forward to when this job of his comes back to L.A.

Pray for me!

Cluster headache hell

Let me introduce you to the most painful headache known to mankind, The Cluster Headache.  This headache is also known as the suicide headache because a portion of people who suffer from these nightmare headaches eventually off themselves. I am a sufferer of these mother effers and, although I am not the type to kill myself, I do often wonder how I could enjoy life taking these things on for the rest of my life.  These headaches reside behind the eye, usually the right. The pain is stabbing and comes in waves, putting pressure on the sinuses and the temple. This causes the affected eye to tear and swell up, like in the picture. The headache also causes temporary mental disorientation and confusion. Cluster headaches can last from minutes to days.  My eye has completely shut during several episodes.  Let me clarify that I am no wussy when it comes to pain. I was a union iron worker and I have had smashed fingers, burned skin from molten iron dripping off of a beam I was cutting with a torch, I have had broken bones, I dislocated my knee, I have been kicked by horses, and I have given birth naturally at home. I did not cry when any of these events occurred, not even during the dislocation of the knee. However, a cluster headache will make me its bitch in less than an hour and have me crying for mercy in the most pathetic of ways.  I would probably assault someone if they stood in they way of me getting relief from one of these things.  When one comes on, sometimes I catch it in time and keep it at bay. This is the best case scenario and it feels like a regular headache behind my eye for three days,  while both sleeping and awake.  The worst scenario is when no amount of over the counter headache medicine works and I need someone to drive me to the hospital to get injections of immuntirex to stop the pain.
 I just had one of these bitch ass headaches last week in between going to three births, doing school work, and getting ready for Halloween. Luckily this time I kept it on the light side.  I am 34 years old. It is seriously depressing to think that I may have to look forward to a lifetime of visits from these unwanted painful episodes. I do not want to be dependent on drugs to deal with this problem. I continue to search for more holistic approaches so that I do not have to harm my body with the side effects that accompany the allopathic medicines out there.  Lack of oxygen has been linked to these headaches and sometimes I am able to make them go away with deep breathing exercises. That is what I did this last week.

Anyway, I would never wish one of these on my worst enemy.  They totally suck!

Making Halloween memories

This Halloween was pretty special. My kid is almost 5 years old so he is totally into the magic of this holiday and he was very passionate about his costume. We read the original Peter Pan and he also listened tot he audiobook about 25 times. He can recite parts of the book as if he wrote it himself!  Clearly he just had to be Peter Pan. We put him in my girlfriend's daughter's green leggings and a green shirt to start him off. Then my friend made him a felt Peter Pan hat and loaned him a brown head band for a belt. For a couple bucks we transformed my kid into a pretty nice resemblance of Peter Pan.

I proceeded to rifle through my friends closet and was very pleased to find wigs and vintage dresses.  I was able to put together a free halloween get up as well. 

Not too shabby, eh? My husband gave me strange looks all night and my son said I looked funny and kinda scary. Ha!  

I forgot that small children do not like when their parent's appearance changes. I remember when I was three and a half and I woke up to my father getting ready for work. He had shaved his mustache off for the first time in my life and I freaked out. I mean I was unconsolable. His personality, familiar voice and body was the same, but his face was unrecognizable. This was beyond traumatizing. M son didn't experience anything that dramatic but I knew what he meant when he said I looked scary. 

Happy Halloween! 

The Pacific Garbage Patch

If you live in a city or town that has public trash disposal then you probably are in the routine of taking your trash out to the can or bin provided to you for weekly pick up. When your trash gets smelly or piled up you simply throw the trash out and then each week, poof, it all disappears for your convenience.  And where does the trash go after that? The city dump right?  But what about after that? Some of it gets buried into the ground, which we call landfills, some may get burned or even recycled. However, if your anywhere near a shore line then you can bet that a large amount goes out to sea. In the Pacific ocean is the North Pacific Subtropical Gyre, which is about 19 million square kilometers (7 million square miles). The Great Pacific Garbage Patch collects marine debris in the Gyre from North America and Asia, as well as ships traveling through the area. There is an eastern rubbish patch and a western rubbish patch. The western rubbish patch, closest to the United States, is estimated to be about the size of Texas. This is not one big floating trash island, but rather it's made up of some floating trash and some trash-masses in sporadic areas, dense trash at the bottom of the ocean floor in other areas, but mostly it consist of millions of small and microscopic pieces of plastic, about .4 pieces per cubic meter, floating over a roughly 5000 square km area of the Pacific. Plastic makes up the greatest percentage of the trash in the ocean. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is comprised of items including discarded fishing nets, medical waste, plastic bottles and cans. However, the greatest volume of trash in the garbage patch is microplastics. The amount has increased significantly over the past 40 years. This is not only disgusting, it's a travesty! For most of us living in industrialized countries, we do not have to deal with the inconvenience or the devastating effects this has on the world around us.  Sooner or later, however, no matter where or how you live, everyone will suffer from the abuse that has been inflicted upon our mother ocean. 

  We can already see the negative impacts this garbage patch is having on wildlife and shorelines. Birds, fish and other sea-life are dying or becoming impaired from the trash that has invaded their world.  There are many fish and birds that have fataloutcomes due to consuming undigestible plastics and other trash. Turtles and sea mammals become entangled in some floating waste.These are just a couple examples of how animals are affected. The trash that blocks the sunlight prevents the algae and plankton from getting the nutrients they need to survive. Fish and turtles feed on the algae and plankton. Predator fish and whales feed on the fish and turtles.  If the plankton and algae cannot grow the entire food chain is compromised. 
There are no nations taking responsibility for the Pacific garbage patch because it lies so far away fro any coast line.  There are dedicated international organization dedicated to preventing the patch from getting any larger.
I found it difficult to collect solid evidence of the Pacific Garbage Patch since the area is so very remote and few have actually traveled there. I realized that some of the picture posted on the internet depicting miles of trash were not actually even from that area of the ocean. Finally, I stumbled across this Vice video which has actual footage of the Pacific Garbage Patch.  Please don't let anyone try and convince you that things are not as catastrophic as they seem regardless if you see mountains of trash or not.  I did some research and discovered that I was not merely an alarmist jumping on the band wagon of the garbage patch scare.  Please enjoy this video and decide for yourself. This is part 1 of three you can view the rest on You Tube.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. -Mahatma Gandhi

INSOMNIA

My hubby went back to work last week and this new job requires him to leave the house between 4:00 AM -5:00 AM. This means no more group Sadhana for a while because I have my child to care for.  I am so trained to wake up at 3:30 AM so here I am blogging at 4:30 in the morning. I do still love this time of the night. I have rested a good amount of hours and everything in quiet and still. So in that respect I still get to enjoy these wee hours of the night. Also, I still can do my own Sadhana, but I am not very self motivated to do the yoga set on my own. I am going to set my daily intention and that is to remain open-minded and committed to creating my reality for this day. I have found this quote which inspired today's intention.

Reality is above all else a variable, and nobody is qualified to say that he or she knows exactly what it is. As a matter of fact, with a firm enough commitment, you can sometimes create a reality which did not exist before.
— Margaret Halsey, American Author

Enjoy!

Halloween is on the way!

 

I love Halloween!  It is one of my favorite holidays.  These days I have to travel outside of my neighborhood to enjoy tick or treating with my kid.  I live in a very orthodox Jewish part of town so we hardly get any trick-or-treaters. We do have a pumpkin patch and halloween costume store right across the street which is cool. Also, the Hollywood Forever cemetery holds the Dios de la Muertes celebration every year. I really enjoy all the painted faces, decorated alters, and revival of Aztec dance.  One of me new favorite parts of Halloween is watching my kid trick-or-treat.  He hates chocolate, weird I know, so he goes door to door, looking at each piece and asking if he received chocolate.  Sometimes he straight out to the person passing out candy that he will only take non-chocolate items. I get a kick out of that.     

Dream Home

My ideal dream home is not a very commonly desired home. Although, maybe that's because people just don't know how cool and affordable this type of housing is. I am referring to a cob house or also known as an earth rammed home. Cob is a building material consisting of clay, sand, straw, water, and earth, similar to adobe. Cob is fireproof, resistant to seismic activity, and inexpensive. It can be used to create artistic, sculptural forms and has been revived in recent years by the natural building and sustainability movements.

Here are pictures of one being built. 

 

I have been planning on building one of these for the past few years now. I think it would be so awesome to build your own house with your own hands. Man has been building his own shelter for as long as we can guess. Now you have to pay a lifetime debt to a bank  just to own a common home. No thank you! These houses are all a fraction of the cost of a manufactured home, plus they are unique, and eco friendly.  Look how beautiful they can be. 

Also, they are insulated from the heat in the summer and harsh winds in the winter with their thick walls. You can set windows facing the sun during the winter to maximize heat collection too. Some people get very artistic as you can see in this picture. 

The inside of these homes are incredibly rad.  I have heard of folks running pipes from a pot bellied stove through the base of their bed (which is made of cob) to have warm and cozy sleep. Ingenious! 
The ways in which you can personalize your indoor space are very broad. Walls can turn into benches, fire places, shelves and even stairs. 

 Here are a couple of my favorite shots of inside a cob home. 

You could build a home like the ones in these pictures for about $10K-$15k or you can just live the American dream and do what everyone else does.  Your choice. 

4 AM yoga?

I get my butt up by 3:30 AM to make it to a local kundalini yoga house as a daily routine. Most people wonder why I would do this?  This daily dedication is called Sadhana. To the Sikhs, the hours between 4 and 7, both AM and PM, are very spiritual hours which offer greater connection with  the divine wisdom and power. Sadhana includes an opening meditation, 45 minutes of yoga, followed by melodic chants and meditation until 6 am. No body cares if you sleep through some or even all of it. Attending Sadhana is free because this is part of the Sikh religion, my first obvious attraction. I actually have grown to love getting up before the crack of dawn.My child and husband are sleeping and do not need anything from me at this time. Also, I get to take care of my body with yoga, and I get to set my intention for the day with meditation. Did I mention it's free? I am not Sikh but I love this part of their dogma. 

Sat Nam!

Public library

I love the library! I am a total library geek. I frequent our local branch every week checking out new books for my child as well as for myself. Today my son and I caught the last half of a story that the children's librarian performed. This is just good, clean fun. I love how I can download audiobooks and DVDs on line too. This is so great! I am just taking the time to appreciate this public service. 

SLS? More like SOS!

Sodium Lauryl Sulfate

Personal hygiene, most of us are regulars at practicing it. But many do not know that more than 90% of beauty and personal hygiene products contain chemicals that actually do us more harm than good. SLS or Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is a an agent that can give a product the ability to perform in ways such as foaming up or removing stains. Most of us would appreciate that, I'm sure. But what about the other gifts that SLS gives such as eye and skin irritation, cell mutation, reproductive harm, endocrine disruption and cancer. Would you still feel clean and better looking knowing this info every time you cleaned your teeth with toothpaste, moistened your skin with lotion, or  soaked in your bubble bath? I feel dirty just thinking about it.  SLS is just one of the many toxic chemicals we willingly subject ourselves and our children to.  There are over 16,000 studies warning us about the dangers of this chemical yet we go on dowsing ourselves with it, trusting that the people pumping this crap out would surely stop if it really was that bad. Sorry to break it to you folks but think again. 

I learned about toxic ingredients back in 2000 when I was working for a well known natural foods market in the vitamin and beauty department. I was lucky to learn so young that I must keep an open eye and read before I add anything to my body. Actually, the older I get the more I need to read the ingredient lists and fine print. It seems that in just about every sales arena there are cheap ass corporations and even small businesses who only give a shit about profit and will cut any corner to make the best buck. Even corners that cut down or diminish the quality of your life or health. If we lived back in the 1800's assholes like this would have been burned at the stake for being the charlatans that they actually are. 

I spend the extra money to avoid poisoning myself. Hell, if I am going to damage my body by putting a chemical in it I should at least get a damn buzz, okay? There are actually other ways of using personal care products which are truly natural and may even save you money. You can brush your teeth with baking soda and sea salt for example. You may not feel minty fresh but your mouth will stay cleaner longer than with most toothpastes. If you are really hurting for that minty aftertaste, grow a mint plant... no really. The stuff grows like a weed and eating it gives you fresh breath plus it aids in digestion. For moisturizer I try to stick to edible oils. Some of my favorites are virgin coconut oil, almond oil, and olive oil. Feel like a salad yet? Deodorant substitutes can be lavender oil, tea tree oil, or any oil that has antimicrobial properties. 

The bottom line is, most people are totally clueless about chemicals like SLS and it will take a long time before people in this country wise up. The Johnson and Johnson family are depending on this kind of ignorance. All we can do is keep spreading the information and hopefully, over time, enough people will care enough to force a change. Until then, I am choosing SLS free products. 

This is the end of my rant. 

homeschool

     My husband and I, three preschools later, have decided that our son is a great candidate for homeschool. Homeschool was not on my radar when I was planing a family. Since I've become a parent things have changed. My son's demeanor changed for the worst when I put him into preschool.  The last school we pulled him out of started suggesting ADD! I couldn't friggen believe my ears.  My son was doing great when he started, six months later he was aggressive and full of anxiety.  This particular school had very little running space and no climbing structure. My sons physiological impulses were thwarted just about  at every move. He was told things like "stop running", "shhhh not so loud" `and "don't climb on that" on a regular basis. He was not interested in the fancy art project the teachers had spent much time on thinking up. He just wanted to play, jump, run, laugh and yell out but was not afforded to do so. None of this was considered in making his assessment about ADD.  My child is a kid who will sit and listen to me read 4 chapters straight of books such as Little House on the Prairie. Let's not forget that this kid is 4 and this particular book has almost no pictures. ADD? Get a life! The straw that broke the camels back was when the neurotic director demanded that we hire a shadow for our son to follow his every move to restrict him even further. We were already paying these people $1200 per month for part time care. Now they wanted us to fork out an extra $400-$600 per week for a professional shadow? We did not have that kind of cash. I decided to pull our son out and to consider home school.  I was worried because I have a career and I am still pursing to achieve my ultimate position as a certified midwife which requires extensive schooling. How would I have the time to support my child and take care of my responsibilities?  My husband works about 12-16 hours a day 5-6 days a week so he could not fill the role as home school teacher.
     I read a book on how children learn by John Holt and another book about what we lose in mass schooling, written by an award winning New York school teacher. This man John Tyler Gatto taught for 30 plus years before he wrote this book and it got my attention. These books allowed me to make sense of my own childhood and adolescents. I struggled in school and hated every second of grade school. At the age of 16, I finally entered an alternative school with about 80 students. I could arrive any time between 7:30 a.m. and 9:30 a.m.and I could work in any class room I was comfortable in. I could even do my studies outside! I went from D's to A's in 11 months and graduated with the Spirit Award. An award given to the most inspiring student who is an example of what they hope all students will transform into. This school allowed me to understand that I was not an idiot but rather that the mainstream school could not support my learning style. These books allowed me to understand that I was not just a weird, isolated incident in this school system and that actually the school system is what has become quite dysfunctional. My son is already showing signs of not being able to "fit in" to run of the mill "here is what you are going to learn" schooling. Nope, my kid needs to learn at his own pace and his learning content has to be spontaneous and based off of his own curiosity. I had such a transformative experience during my last years of high school in that alternative school. I still miss the teachers there and call them from time to time. My love for learning was born at that school.  I can only imaging what my childhood would have been like if I would have had more options prior to high school.
     After I came to all of this understanding there was no way I could not home school my son. We are just going to have to make the best of it. Actually, I am already enjoying taking my son on field trips and making the world our classroom.  I am grateful that I do not have to stick my son in the "one size fits all box." I hope he thrives and loves learning for his entire life. I suggest these reads to anyone. Even if you do not have kids or if you totally dig mainstream school, you may learn a lot about yourself and how humans learn in general. I know home school is not for everyone but a joy for learning is and today we have many more options on how we can find pleasure in learning.

Enjoy!

Bum neck

My neck has been out for the last two and a half days. Ouch! At night it starts to throb and the pain radiates from my temple to my jaw bone, down through my neck and shoulder. This is a reoccurring literal pain in the neck. This would not be as bad if my life wasn't so awesome and full of responsibility. I haven't been able to see an acupuncturist yet or even a massage therapist.  I will take care of this tomorrow. Here's to another shitty night of sleep.

National Security in Medical Records

Okay, since my last post I have been much more aware of what I am signing when I receive standard forms to sign.  I took my son to a prestigious, local hospital for an echo scan on his heart. When we checked in we handed over our information and we were asked to start the signing process on all the forms. The intake personnel woman said, "sign here on the electronic pad" without even asking us to read anything. I asked for the information and she gladly offered us the reading material. Under the Notice of Privacy Practices there were some new additions that I had never seen before. Here are the two additions which concerned me the most:
q  National Security and Intelligence Activities. We may release medical information about you to authorized federal officials for intelligence, counterintelligence, and other national security activities authorized by law.

q  Protective Services for the President and Others. We may disclose medical information about you to authorized federal officials so they may provide protection to the President, other authorized persons or foreign heads of state or conduct special investigations.

I also was not down to give away my son's info to research as stated blow.

q  Research. Under certain circumstances, we may use and disclose medical information about you for research purposes. We will almost always ask for your specific permission if the researcher will have access to your name, address or other information that reveals who you are, or will be involved in your care at the facility.

... they almost always ask for permission? That is not comforting. 
The woman at the desk assured me I could opt out of these if I called the number listed on the hard copy of the privacy policy I requested. So we went on with our visit.

When we got home I called the number given which rang the  privacy manager's voice-mail. About two hours later my call was returned and it was then that  I found out I could only opt out of the research portion. Turns out the other two were federally mandated and it does not mater if one signs or not... we have no privacy!  I was pissed and concerned at this point and was desperate for a loophole. Well, for now there is one... if you're rich! I found out through a friend in health care that you can be exempt from this if you pay cash at your visit and avoid credit cards and insurance claims. That to me is both very interesting and confusing. I wonder how long this option will last? 

Here's a little cherry on top for you... a couple days later I visited a client of mine who works for a big wig pharmaceutical company and she let me know some other disturbing information. I was told that whenever a doctor submits a prescription for a patient the pharmacy does not get it right away. First, the order goes to a government hub somewhere in D.C. This government hub stores data on every drug every person is on and for how long. This government hub can also reject a prescription without giving a reason and they answer to no one. My client does not know the purpose of this entity nor does any of her coworkers. This is not a secret government sect. They are open about their part in the chain of prescription filling.  However, they will not explain the detail of their operation to the providers, drug companies, insurance companies or patients. 

I am going to keep on writing about this decay of freedom until some force busts in my home and confiscates my computer and whatever else they find fascinating.  I am going to speak my truth until freedom of speech is completely ripped away, if that is the direction things are going. 

Is it?

So long Facebook

Well, I have deleted my Facebook account for good. After recently watching the documentary film "Terms and Conditions May Apply" I decided this would be the best choice for me. I would get off blogger.com and electronic mail too if my life allowed it. One day this will be my reality but for now I will do what I need to do. So anyway, this film reveals what a person is agreeing to when they click the "I agree" box at the bottom of the fifty page legal contract that is required before you can enjoy the perks of whatever social media or electronic network you are attempting to join. All that legal jargon that no body ever reads actually has some eye worthy information. Anyone who clicks "I agree" on Facebook specifically is agreeing to allow Facebook to sell and or give away any information or images you post to third parties. Some people would say, "Who cares! I am not hiding anything." I get it. I said that for a long time too. But what I didn't realize is that the government is using this in part of the Homeland Security Act as a means to monitor regular folks like you and me to scan for "potential terrorist" within the nation. The  fourth amendment that is meant to protect us against unreasonable searches and seizures and give people the right “to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects” is now being lost to what is known as the third party doctrine, the legal principle that, in effect, you lose your Fourth Amendment rights when you relinquish information to a third party. What?!!! 
There were cases where innocent people were searched and questioned just based off written words that were being surveillance on their social media. The interviews of these folks made me nervous. One person was a 12 year old kid who made a comment something like "the Taliban are crazy and have lots of weapons, Obama should be careful."  The kid was questioned at school by the CIA before his mom even arrived. His comment was one of concern not a threat but the computer registered those certain words of the presidents name combined with weapons and Taliban... and then bam! The poor kid is crapping his pants while being interrogated without his parents consent. Another guy was a writer who was doing research for a film he was working on and searched on line for "how to murder your wife" and "How to kill someone and not get caught" etc. He too got a knock on his door. The film compared this invasion of privacy to the movie "Minority Report" with Tom Cruz. The movie which is set in the future where officers go back in time to arrest people for crimes they will commit in the future before the crimes happen. Well no need for a time machine folks, we can just search you and possibly arrest you for just writing something on the internet that even looks suspicious. 
Hello? Is this thing on? Is anyone getting what I am saying here? 
Deleting my Facebook account is not going to fix the problem but boy do we have a problem! I am going to at least delete my accounts that slip in wording that takes away my fourth amendment and I encourage anyone who gives a shit about their freedom to do the same. 

Thank you and good night!

This is Syrious

What is the deal with Obama's position  to escalate the war in Syria?  This is the Nobel Peace Prize winning liberal were talking here? I thought the American people had to give permission to the president to start a war?  We have people starving to death all over the world and even in our own country but we are too broke to help them out. We sure have plenty of money to wipe out massive numbers of human life in Syria! Kill more people and go further into debt doing it... good idea. Those gullible Americans will work hard to pay it all back right? Obama is no idiot and I'm pretty sure that he knows what he's doing is wrong.  I think I am leaning towards the conspiracy theorists on this one when I say that Syria is a great diversion for Obama's failed 2nd term.
The diversion strategies of American presidents are getting out dated and predictable in my opinion and yet the American people still eat it up like apple pie. The Syria show is on every damn news channel and nobody has time anymore to worry about Obama Care or any other scandal that the Obama administration has been called out on. Is anyone else tired of this crap?

I am not affiliated with any political parties. I am just a patriotic American citizen who is so over the lies, manipulation and greed that the government seems to be runing off of. Why is the force that wants to fight, destroy and control seem to be the driving force in the world? How are the American people so easily distracted? The government is banking on our stupidity and laziness to pull off the crap that they do. Wake up sheeple, I mean people!  The worlds problems are not unfixable. Our strategies and approaches to our problems are the problem.

Getting old

So I am no spring chicken anymore and my neck and shoulder tend to go out from time to time. Well, this is one of those times...ouch!  I am going to get an acupuncture treatment tomorrow morning bright and early.  I don't have much to say and it huts to sit and write so I will end here.

People who care

After a long days work, I took my child to the park where he played tennis for an hour then hit the playground for a bit. I needed to pick up groceries to make dinner so we headed to the market. After we checked out and paid for our yummy food we ran into some kids that had been playing tennis with my son. My son started to play with his tennis mates and then an outreach representative from EQ America started on me about the next gay rights movement. You know, the ones that hover in the parking lot with the eye locking stare they lay upon you as you try to dart to the car? Before this woman could even finish her opening hook line I interrupted with "you guys already have my money and support."I was too tired to hear the whole low down on transgender rights. She followed up by saying "thanks" and went on to tell me about  the current bill they are opposing and warned me to read before I vote on this particular bill. I truly love the follow through these folks have on delivering their message. I agreed and began to counter educate by informing her of a bill I am working to support and get passed. It is 1038 the bill that will remove obstetrical supervision from midwives. This will allow Medi-Cal patients to receive care from midwives and even receive care from them outside the hospital setting (birth centers/ home births, etc). It also defines normal birth and the scope of a midwife's practice. I figured if I am going to stand here then we are going to talk about what I am caring about at the moment. This woman became so inspired and started telling me that her heart was in reproductive rights more than any cause. I told her about my involvement with the birth rally, my work as a birth professional and  as a human rights activist. We exchanged statistics and stories while jazzing each other up.  We also ended up giving our contacts to one another and she wants to help out with the organization I have been volunteering for, the organization that put on the national rally to improve birth. Before I knew it ten dollars were flying out of my wallet to support transgender rights. I remembered how hard it was to get people to listen and care about what is wrong and even how much harder it is to get them to do what it takes to make things right. She reminded me to stop and care by stopping to care herself. It's people like this woman who really restore my faith in humanity.

Just checking in

Today was a bit hectic. My co-worker who shares running the midwife's office where I work  was called to a birth and I had to cover for her. I had no childcare so I had to make the best of it with my son who is not quite five years old.  I also had to see one of the midwife's clients for a postpartum visit and get a weight on the three day old baby. Normally this is fun and cute but my son was pretty much over the whole day and beyond tired so he was bouncing around the house, touching everything, and getting a little too close to the newborn for the mother's comfort level. Expecting a four and a half year old to "sit nice and play quietly" all by themselves all day is just unrealistic and a promissory note for a resentment from both the child and the expecting party. For the most part though, my son was very helpful and made the best of it.
Anyway, I am just checking and now I must go to bed.

Nighty night,
K

Cyber Blogging

I have come to realize that I enjoy blogging. However, I am also a person who avoids staring into media screens as much as possible. I watch TV about once a month and answer emails about every three to four days. I find it challenging to remember to sit at the computer at least once a day to blog. I guess I am about to get over that!  I am going to see about getting an app for this blogger.com business.

English 101 meets again tonight for the 2nd time and I am looking forward to this. I have all my books and I am excited to learn.  It has been a while since I've been in school but I think I should do just fine.

Well, time to get ready for work!

Until next time,
Kimme

Labor Day- A Birth Revolution

A victory this Labor Day -250 plus people showed up to rally against the maternity crisis in the Untied States. For the last eight months I have been coordinating and planning this rally for the Los Angeles location. The National Rally to Improve Birth by improvingbirth.org took place in over 170 cities in all 50 states. Some advocates also participated from Japan, Canada and Brazil as well. This rally was not about natural birth vs medicated birth nor was it home birth vs hospital birth, but rather about women having maternity care that is based in evidence and being afforded true informed consent and refusal. The U.S.A. spends more money than any other country in the world on maternity care, yet we rank 45th in maternal safety. Yep... that's right! America shmerica! In the world of birth we are pathetic! It is safer to give birth in Croatia than it is here! Women in America just don't have real options. A woman who has had a surgical birth, 96% of the time, will not be supported or offered a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) for reasons that have nothing to do with the woman's chances for a successful VBAC. Instead it will be because of some strenuous guidelines that a doctor must follow which were put in place by insurance companies. The insurance companies have decided that a woman laboring who is attempting a VBAC must have their care provider on the labor and delivery floor the whole time she is admitted until the birth is completed. An obstetrician who has to pay $250,000.00 a year in malpractice insurance (common malpractice ins. fee)  needs to have many patients a month to pay that kind of cash. This makes it nearly impossible for any doctor to spend that kind of time with any patient. If they hung around for as long as some labors take they could never get to their 32 patients a day that are waiting back in the office. That is why women are being forced into repeat c-sections, not because it is best for the mother or baby... put that in your pipe and smoke it! Also, babies are being forced out by artificial inductions (starting labor manually with drugs) or cut out by c-section because the doctor thinks the baby will be to big to birth. Really? Did the doctor X-ray the woman's pelvis and measure the inlet and outlet opening? I doubt it! I attend home births regularly and we never tell women that their body won't be able to get the baby out and guess what? The baby always comes out just fine. I  have seen 8,9, even 10 pound babies birth like it was nothing and the mothers vajayjay wasn't even scratched! Then there is the whole "lets control the woman's every move" move. Get this,women can have child services called on them during their labor and delivery just for not signing consent forms that allow the hospital to do a c-section that may not even be needed. This kinds crap happens every day to women who may want anything outside the policy box. Grrrr!  My last pet peeve I will bitch about for the day is on informed consent. Example: Any given healthy woman can walk into the hospital while having a normal labor and the staff will get the woman set up for an IV (which she usually does not need) and start a line of pitocin (a synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin which causes uterine contractions) without even asking her, telling her what she is getting, or informing her of the side effects. The kicker is that she didn't need that crap in her veins to begin with! This is some serious, criminal shit going on that violates the human right to not just informed consent but also to informed refusal. What we have here is a medical system that is rot with fear of litigation, fear of birth and fear of losing control. A system that has nine in ten women receiving maternity care that puts women and babies at risk of being harmed instead of keeping them safe.  The only way things will change is when birthing families take to the streets and start demanding change. They are the consumers and generally 50% of a hospitals revenue comes from birth patients. We all know money talks! Well, the time has come mi amigos. A few of us birth professionals, including myself, got so sick of watching women's birth experiences get ripped away from them for no reason and sick of watching the hospital machine abuse women and babies. Finally, we got together and started this movement and the ball is rolling. I have so much hope and faith with this years turnout. Last years rally was a success nation wide but without much media coverage. This year we grew so much and had human rights lawyers, congress, and many more families come forth to strengthen our presence. We had national and local news coverage that held true to our message. Guess what? I look pretty good on the camera! Haha!  Anyway, it is a start for sure and I am happy with the progress. I hope your Labor Day was as cool as mine and remember, when it comes to giving birth in America, the care that is received should be questioned, examined, and and weighed before handing over our bodies and babies.

here is a link to the CNN clip http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1031239
and the local spot http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/video?id=9233894

Peace,

Kimme M.